Pink Flowers
by Anistan Summers
Summary: Willow visits Tara's grave for the first time, after returning from England


Pink Flowers  
  
A gentle breeze whispered through the trees of Sunnydale Memorial Cemetery. The sun was warm, and brought out brilliant pigments of green in the grass and it pierced through the opening between leaves on the trees, creating the illusion that the sun had only chosen to drop light in certain spots.  
  
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" Xander asked, concerned about Willow, thinking that it might be too soon for her.  
  
She answered him with a small sad smile, as if she were saying "Yeah. Thanks, but I'm sure." She began to walk forward, taking in a deep breath. It had only been a month since her girlfriend, Tara had been shot in one of the upstairs bedroom of Buffy Summers' house. As she walked to Tara's tombstone a million thoughts shot through her mind at once. What if Tara hadn't forgiven her for using all that magic? Did Tara still love her even though she had moved on to a higher being? "Tara!" Willow heard her own screams from that day in her head. She could even hear the sound that was made when Tara hit the ground.  
  
Well, there it was, the tombstone of the grave in which the only one she had ever loved lay. With her big brown eyes, she sat eyes on the cold stone for the first time. She moved forward a bit more, laying some rocks on top of Tara's stone. She then, sat down on her knees. She blinked back tears. What was she suppose to say and in what manner should she say it in? Should she say whatever it was she was going to say as if Tara were sitting right in front of her? If not, then how? The tears fought her resistance, and she pressed her lips inward, fighting harder to keep them in.  
  
"Hey," She said in a shaky voice.  
  
She leaned forward, and with her trembling hand, she took her index finger and traced softly over the name "TARA", and again she didn't really know what to say. A few moments passed.  
  
"It's me," she said as tears now streamed down her face  
  
A gush of tears just broke through Willow's strong emotional barrier, and she swallowed, taking in a deep breath, not letting them affect her voice and what she needed to say. Emotions this strong were something even magic couldn't stop. She smiled, remembering everything good about Tara; her laugh, her smile, even how her hair smelled. "I don't really know what to say....I mean, I know what I have to and need to say...it's just....." Willow said, with her unsure personality showing. One of her stronger moments came, and she began. "I'm sorry for using magic too much....I see, that it was dangerous now, and I never really understood why you were so worried, until just a month ago..." a few seconds of silence passed as Willow thought about how to word what she needed to say.  
  
"Well, it's just that.....that I thought you should know what happened that day. It wasn't fair for him to take your light away, and it's not fair now for you to not know what happened," She sniffed, "Well....see.....okay, here goes. That day, Warren came to kill Buffy with a gun, and she was in the front yard with Xander. Xander saw the gun, but he froze, he couldn't do anything...but that wasn't his fault. And, Warren shot off the gun twice......The first bullet......it, hit Buffy and the second bullet...." Willow paused, letting the periodic tears pass. She took a deep breath and continued "And the second time was a charm I guess. I....I tried to bring you back....I called upon Osiris, and....he wouldn't he just wouldn't give you back to me. He said it was a natural death.....And that when I brought Buffy back, it was do-able, because....her death was caused by mystical powers. So, I guess you could say I went a bit psycho. I broke into the magic shop and drained all of the dark arts books, and went off on a killing spree....." Memories of what she just told Tara played through her head, word for word......"Meanwhile, Buffy was at the hospital, and.....and I went in, and made everyone leave....and I levitated the bullet out of her chest, and I healed her wound. And, I tracked Warren down....I chased him, corning him in the woods....And.......and.....I just....I used magic to tie him up, I tied all four of his limbs to branches, and....and I took the bullet I levitated out of Buffy's chest, and I ripped his shirt open," Willow covered her mouth. She knew she had killed humans, but she had never really talked to anyone about it...."And I made him feel it.....I put that bullet through his chest...slowly, very slowly. Then I stripped him of his skin with magic...and, and ....and it killed him. ....I'm sorry......" Willow lied on top of Tara's grave, just wishing she could hold her one more time. The needles of grass cradled Willow's face, and her arms lay sprawled out in front of her, and her tears were uncontrollable.  
  
"I killed them Tara. I killed people, and I hurt people I loved. ..."  
  
Willow pulled herself together, picking herself up, sitting on her knees once again, wiping tears from her cheeks. "But....Giles came....and he helped me.....and I was so full of anger, I was going to destroy everyone, the world. I hated everyone, even people who had nothing to do with your death. Xander, of all people....he stopped me. Giles took me to England to get better.....and, .....and now I'm back. And...I wanted to come here to.....to tell you that I love you, and I'm sorry, and I hope you've forgiven me....." Willow stood on her feet, "So...." It felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, "I guess.....I'll be seein' ya."  
  
Willow felt by saying that, that it would in a way keep things alive between her and Tara. She turned and walked down the unmade path she had taken, and Xander was nowhere to be seen. Pink flowers appeared around Willow and every time she took a step they appeared beside her feet. She stopped, knowing this was mystical. A butterfly flew in front of Willow, and she let her hand out, and it landed. In thin air, Tara appeared, wearing a blue dress Willow had got for her a long time ago. She was just as Willow remembered her, minus the bullet wound. Her smile was magical itself. Her hair was long and brown and it drifted in the soft, gentle breeze....  
  
'Willow," Tara smiled.  
  
"Tara???" She could hardly believe her eyes, "Tara....you're....you're here".  
  
"Yes I am. But not for long. I just wanted to tell you.....I know all that happened, and I know you've gotten better. And I'm very proud of you. Keep the others safe, and stay strong. I believe in you, and of course I've forgiven you, and I'll always be with you no matter what. I love you Willow".....the butterfly flew up and away, and Tara faded along with the pink flowers. Willow was left standing by herself. When she looked up Xander was waiting for her by an old maple tree. He smiled, and she smiled back, and proceeded to join him once again for the walk back home. 


End file.
